So I think Abby weaned...

At 3  years, 7 months. We were in the tub the other night, and she leaned in to nurse and had forgotten how! I tried to coach her on her latch, but she didn't want to. She said "I don't want to nurse ever ever again." When I asked why, she just said, "Because I don't want to." And while I had been slowly getting to this place, I'm still a little sad. I guess it's because the last year of her nursing was while I was pregnant and then also nursing Ella, and it wasn't pleasant for me most of the time. It was painful during pregnancy, and hard with both of them. There was a lot of internal struggle about just weaning her and feeling guilty that so much of her life has changed since the arrival of her baby sister. So far, she seems no worse for it, and I feel like she is adjusting beautifully, but it's that same old mama guilt that gets me every time. 

Some of you, who don't know me, (or some of you who do!) may be thinking "What the HECK?!?! She was NURSING a 3 year old???" Yes. Yes I was. Hey, I warned you that I was weird in my first entry...

Extended nursing is actually NORMAL nursing in most of the rest of the world. The world wide weaning age is actually 4 years, so I feel a few months short of that with Abby. (I'll have to nurse Ella until she is 5 to make up for it I guess!) And while nursing at all is rare in these United States, nursing for longer than a few months is almost non-existent, unless you happen to know another weirdo hippy. 

I can't say I started knowing I'd be nursing her for 3 and a half years, it just kind of happened. As she neared a year, I thought 'no way would I wean her, she was still nursing every 3 hours, night and day, and it was an important part of her life'. Plus, she still looked like such a baby to me, not at all like a huge toddler! Then at 2, I thought, 'no way would I wean now, how on earth can I calm her down when she's had a tumble or when she is frustrated'? And then I got pregnant, and I thought, 'well I can't wean her now, will associate it with having a new baby'. And when Ella came, that sentiment seemed even more important. And while nursing two kids was really really hard, let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter than looking down at your 3 year old softly stroking your newborns hair while you nourish both their tummy and their soul. 

So, our nursing journey is ended. I knew it was coming soon, but still it's hard. Hard knowing that my little baby is growing up, that she needs me a little less now.